THE MOST UNATTRACTIVE ROLE A WOMAN CAN TAKE

 

There is one mistake that a lot of women make when they just meet a guy and some of these women, keep doing this when they get into a relationship with him too.

This mistake is literally the opposite of FATAL. 

Before I go deeper into the subject, that's how it starts, and these are some of the scenarios I see everyday:

 

• They meet a guy who has an addiction problem and want to help him overcome it
• They meet a guy who suffers from a mental illness and they want him to get better, going to great lengths to make him feel better
• They meet a guy who had a rough childhood
• They meet a guy who went through a painful break up and want to help him believe in love again.

Sound familiar?

These women, instead of distancing themselves, or deciding to not keep dating these guys anymore, do you know what they do?

They go in the relationship, they invest emotionally, they invest their time and their energy, they take the role of the helper,  and do everything they can to “save” the guy to the point where often they lose themselves.

He has a problem? No worries, here comes the female knight in shining armour so strong and proud and powerful….to save the damsel in distress 

 

 

Hmmm? Hello?

The damsel in distress is a woman.

If you feel like you need to help a man deal with the points I mentioned above, my first advice would be to leave and move on to other guys.

 

ABORT MISSION!

I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION!

IGNORE THIS TARGET, MOVE ON TO ANOTHER ONE.

 

 

I insist on aborting mission because the funniest thing that happens when women get into such relationships, is that these women start making excuses for these men.

 

It usually goes like this:

• he screamed at me but I understand it because he’s battling depression
• He is distant with me because he got hurt in the past
• He throws tantrums because he had a rough childhood … and on and on and on.

These women are putting up with sh*tty behaviour and they rationalise it by making excuses.

Well you know what? Keep making excuses for him, but at the end YOU will be the one suffering!

 

You see that is the psychology behind the logic: since you conditioned him in a way that you are the saviour, he will never see you as the woman he adores and loves. You conditioned him to rely on you for his problems. You became his saviour.

This is the most unattractive role a woman can take in a relationship.

He will NOT change and one day think that you’re a great woman who saved him.

WHY?

Because HE WANTS to save women, that’s how he falls in love.

(more on that in the article “the Fatal Spell that will make him fall in love fast").

With time, he is even going to resent you and see your flaws, even if you don't have any, he is going to create them. Even if you marry that kind of man it's going to be exhausting. Putting all that effort all your life only for a relationship?

I see it happen everyday, don’t think for a second that you’re going to be the exception.

 

It is not your f*cking job to take responsibility for a man’s feelings.

 

Unless you’re insulting or abusing him, he is the one responsible for his own feelings.

Saving is the role that a doctor, a psychologist, or a life coach takes… and they’re being paid for it. It's NOT YOUR role. 

Why are you undertaking a job that doesn’t pay you? Worse, why are you doing charity for something that isn’t for the common good of society?

If you have that need to help people, at least join a non-profit. By joining an organisation (non-profit) you will be part of a community (i.e you can meet new people) and you can even put it on your resume.

See, now at least your time was worth spending.

 

 

Problem solving is a man’s task, and he feels good in taking that role.

If you take that role during the dating phase or during a relationship you emasculate a man.

Problem solving isn’t feminine; you have enough problems to solve at work/school and at life!!!

 

Seriously don’t you have enough problems to solve in your everyday life?

 

I am not saying that you cannot support your boyfriend or your husband during difficult times, however even this support needs to come once you are officially the girlfriend or wife. 

Even then, if he throws tantrums, or if he is pouting, do not try to make him feel better. If he feels upset, and is unresponsive to you, don’t do anything. Leave the room and let him work on his issues on his own.

NEVER try to make a man feel better when he is having “emotional problems”. There are professionals who can do that. All you can say is "you support" him. 

You can be supportive and say you understand him, without necessarily taking the “saviour” role, or solving problems for him.

 

Finally, I am not saying that you should never be a knight in shining armour, I personally live life in a knight mode everyday.

However save your shining armour and your knight role for projects you have in YOUR life. Be the knight in shining armour FOR YOURSELF, AND SAVE YOURSELF. 

BE FATAL